Today I am 7 weeks and 5 days. Some things have gotten better and a lot haven’t. I still sleep a ton and I am still super emotional. James has been super supportive which only makes me cry more. I come home from work and go lay down for a nap. He comes home, snuggles me, then he still cooks for us. He’s been so patient its ridiculous. The crazy thing is how little I’m actually sleeping. I nap for about an hour every afternoon which is the only way I’ve been surviving. At night I wake up ALL. THE. TIME. I wake up to pee, I wake up because I’m uncomfortable, and I wake up for no reason at all. The sleep stats on my Fitbit are crazy low for how long I’m actually laying down. It’s so counterintuitive.
I am so bloated that I already look pregnant. Luckily I lost a lot of weight in January and February, so all of my clothes still fit well. I was so tempted to put on maternity pants today just because they are comfortable. I decided against it. There will be time for that…
My boobs have started to hurt pretty bad. My best friend said hers hurt so bad that she was in pain when someone hugged her. Mine isn’t that bad, but I do have to hold them when I go up and down the stairs so they don’t bounce. OUCH! I ordered all new bras on Amazon and am SOOO glad I did. They came with extenders if the girls keep growing at this rate. The bras also double as breastfeeding bras, so I think it was a great investment. They’re so comfortable I’ve been sleeping in them, ha!
Something interesting that has started is the food aversions. James spent all day Saturday smoking BBQ in the driveway. He made ribs too! I love when he does this. It is an all day event, but SO DELICIOUS! After all his hard work I napped (shocking, I know). I heated up some canned green beans. My mom and niece, Charlotte, were in town so we were trying to cook well for them. As soon as I spooned the green beans onto the plate I felt nauseous. I couldn’t even look at them. I had to get them off my plate ASAP. That was 5 days ago and still the thought of green beens makes me cringe. Ugh. They’re so slimy and potent. Gross. I even gagged as I dumped them into the garbage.
I think the biggest issue with this stage is how guilty I feel for being miserable. I’ve wanted this baby for so long and now I feel like I’m not enjoying the pregnancy. Being so early, I’m not comfortable telling everyone and nobody every talks about how hard this stage is. They tell you about the vomiting, but thats it. They never talk about the emotional tole it takes on you. Maybe after the fact they look back and are honest, but I need people to be real in the moment. Part of the emotional tole of these first 8 weeks is just not knowing if the baby is ok. Understandably, the doctor doesn’t need to see me until I’m 8 weeks, but the waiting is unbearable. I’ve been able to rule out ectopic pregnancy in my head because I’m pretty sure the baby would have ruptured the tube by now. I am curious to find out just how old the kid is and what our adjusted due date is. For now, I’m excited about these facts:
- Mini Van is the size of a blueberry
- Mini Van is sprouting arm and leg joints with little paddles that will become hands and feet (how cute!!)
- Mini Van is .51 inches long
- The placenta is almost done building, so hopefully the fatigue will ease up soon
- Mini Van’s brain is growing by about 100 cells a minute! (Hopefully to have the smarts of their dad and work ethic of their mom)