You read that right. I’m pro-life and I had an abortion. The title of this article is provocative on purpose. I need you to know how much I value life. I value life in the womb and out. I support the black lives matter movement, I am against the death penalty, I support expanding medicaid and reforming healthcare so that children and adults living in poverty have the ability to truly live. I am pro-life. I am against children being held in tents and dying in the custody of our border control. I support affordable housing options. I believe in comprehensive sex education and FREE birth control. I support common sense gun legislation to keep children from dying in school. THIS is pro-life!
I get very frustrated with the political pro-life movement because it is not in fact pro-life. It is only pro-birth. As a Christ follower I am responsible for being pro WHOLE life. I cannot imagine someone claiming to value life while maintaining the believe that a woman who has been raped needs to keep a child. I say all this and need you to know that politically I am pro-choice. I find it much more likely that a woman will strive to keep a child when she knows that the world she will bring the child up in values life. I do not see that in our country today. My way of maintaining my personal pro-life stance is by advocating for a better more life sustaining policy in the United States. Criminalizing a medical procedure is not pro-life. Being politically pro-life is a privilege that I do not have. We have children who will age out of the foster system every day without ever receiving the resources they need. I am not on the list to foster or adopt which means I am only adding to the problem. I do not have the right to be politically pro-life when I am not currently looking to foster or adopt.
Now as for the title of this blog post. When my child died in my womb I did not know the pain it would cause me. I also didn’t know the pain that other people would cause me. When a child dies within the first 20 weeks of pregnancy it is called a miscarriage or “spontaneous abortion.” That’s right. I have had an abortion. Don’t get annoyed and tell me I didn’t because I did. Don’t say it is different because I didn’t chose it. My medical record will always read abortion. When I went to have my D&C procedure I also learned that this is how some women get abortions. I am one of them. Whether it be due to embryonic demise or the mother choosing not to cary the child, people have this procedure to rid their bodies of a pregnancy. Having been through that horrific procedure I can tell you that people aren’t doing it as a form of birth control. It was the worst pain of my entire life. I was given three choices when my child died. I could wait for my body to miscarry on its own, I could be given medications to have it pass, or I could have the procedure. My medical team highly recommended the procedure. I wonder what would happen if my state outlawed my right to have this necessary medical procedure.
These debates in our country have always bothered me because many people come at it with little knowledge. I now have a wealth of knowledge. I have skin in the game. People who are politically pro-life will use the heartbeat argument saying that it becomes a human when the heart begins to beat. This is incredibly insulting and crude. My baby never had a heartbeat. Does this mean I didn’t lose a life? NO! It means your lack of knowledge has you searching for false evidence to support your case. How about we all start being truly pro-life and start defending all lives. Let’s protest the systems of injustice that have led to the mass incarceration of African Americans. Let’s stop spending billions of dollars on a war that is doing nothing but killing others. Let’s advocate for a healthcare system that is going to be preventative and affordable for all. Let’s stop saying we’re pro-life when we’re only pro-birth. I’m pro birth too. My baby didn’t make it that far. Above all, let’s stop saying you’re against abortion. It happened to me and your ignorance is insulting. You’re trying to help babies and you’re hurting mothers. Specifically, you’re hurting this mother.