Today is pregnancy and infant loss awareness day. What once was a day that felt insignificant now gives me reason to mourn and share with others what it feels like to be 1 in 4.
1 in 4. That’s 25%. That’s me. It’s basic math. There was a 3/4 chance I’d be 36 weeks pregnant this week and I drew the short straw. I am 1 in 4.
I remember working at Duke. While serving in the NICU and labor and delivery we held a service on October 15 honoring all the staff members who had lost pregnancies and infants. At the time I wondered if it was insignificant. Now I know it was vital. You see, before this service I had never heard of this important day. As parents who have lost children, we remember every day. This day is for you. This is the one day a year where we expect you to remember our children.
You get drawings and crafts on Mother’s day. You get pictures with Santa. You get smash cakes. You get National Daughter/Son Day. You get all of the days. Today is when you get to go out of your way and honor our children. Today you get to honor all these precious pregnancies and infants gone too soon. I remember every day. You can deal with just one.
At 7pm there is a wave of light. Whatever time zone you are in you get to light a candle at 7pm and honor these sweet children and the deep impact they have made on their parents. The light that flickers daily in my heart will shine through the world as people everywhere spend just one day honoring the one I lost.