This year, Good Friday was different. Fridays are typically my day off, so I had plenty of errands to run that morning. One errand was returning maternity pants to Old Navy. I found them on clearance and snagged them knowing I wouldn't need them for a while. Now I won't need them at all. It… Continue reading Holy Week
I know from my work as a chaplain that sometimes life just sucks. I served as a pediatric chaplain and know that trauma can strike anyone at any time. I have sat with parents, grandparents, siblings, and friends as their babies and children were taken from them far too soon. I don't try and look… Continue reading Christian Community
The procedure is called a D&C or Dilation and Curettage. I was so excited that medicine had come a long way and I wouldn't require general anesthesia. They would give me some pain meds strong enough that I couldn't drive home. James would be able to hold my hand through the procedure. My HCG levels… Continue reading The “minor procedure”
When we left the appointment I naively thought we would go to brunch and then I'd head into the office. Instead, I cried on the way to brunch, cried when James prayed, and then went home and cried for the remainder of the day. I texted all of the people we had told as calling… Continue reading Living into Loss
I spent the last weekend in March at our youth ministries annual beach retreat. I told two people on the trip that I was expecting, but that really wasn't a lot considering we brought 104 students and 40 adult leaders. I felt nauseous most of the weekend and definitely tired. I was actually able to… Continue reading 8 weeks… but not really
Today I am 7 weeks and 5 days. Some things have gotten better and a lot haven't. I still sleep a ton and I am still super emotional. James has been super supportive which only makes me cry more. I come home from work and go lay down for a nap. He comes home, snuggles… Continue reading 7 Weeks!
I'm so grateful for the women in my life who have give me the best advice. The most key thing I've learned is "lean into the tired." I've always been an early to bed early to rise person. Lately I've taken that to a whole new level. Leaning into the tired has just meant planning… Continue reading Routine
Nobody prepares you for the tired. People tell you about barfing and the not being able to touch your toes, but nobody talks about the tired. I took the elevator to the second floor today. That tired. Tuesday I went to lunch with Susan from work and she let me nap at her house for… Continue reading Zzzzzz…
I make it no secret that I live with anxiety and depression. I was initially diagnosed with seasonal depression back in 2012. I realized pretty quickly that it wasn't just seasonal and I needed to stay on a low dose of medication year round. I've also had a struggle paying attention. A few years ago… Continue reading Anxiety/Depression/Pregnancy
Once discovering we're pregnant I've gone from utter excitement to terrified then back to excited. I was ready to start making a baby registry and then the next day I took another pregnancy test because I was worried the little blastocyst had died. Luckily it is still there and I'm hoping it will stay put… Continue reading Me? Pregnant?